An Open Letter to the Toronto Burlesque Festival Community
BeAppealing pasties on a breast cancer survivor’s cast (Not all healing is with a pink ribbon)
Last weekend, I attended the Toronto Burlesque Festival — and something inside me quietly rearranged itself in the most unexpected and beautiful way. I’m still processing the comfort, the safety, the joy, and the deep, aching sense of being seen in a way I didn’t know I needed.
As someone who grew up fuller-busted, I spent my adolescence navigating a storm of body shame, disordered eating, and the relentless pressure to make my body smaller, quieter, less disruptive. When I first got boobs, I tried to bind them for years. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want to be “different.” I didn’t want my dance career to be decided for me before it even began because of my chest. I didn’t want to be pushed toward comedic or “unserious” roles just because, in so many dance spaces, the unspoken rule always modelled::
Thin people do ballet. Fat people do comedy.
But the truth is:
I love all of it.
The classical.
The comedic.
The sensual.
The dramatic.
The ridiculous.
The intellectual.
The glamorous.
And it took me almost 40 years to realize:
I’m allowed to be multifaceted.
My body doesn’t have to limit my expression — it can expand it.
Finding Home in Queer, Neurodivergent, Glitter-Smeared Space
Walking into TBF felt like stepping into a world where everyone spoke the same emotional language: queer, neurodivergent, deeply feeling artists who adore glamour, puns, silliness, sexuality, irreverence, craft, and bodies in every shape and size.
I wore the skimpiest outfit I’ve ever worn in public — and for the first time in my life, I felt safe.
Seen but not objectified. Present but not policed. Unseen in the best way — like my body wasn’t a problem or a spectacle or a threat to anything.
It is impossible to overstate how healing that is when you’ve spent decades having your body misunderstood or misused by the world around you.
Dita, Glamour, and What My Body Was Allowed to Be
My style icon has always been Dita Von Teese, the Queen of Burlesque. Maybe it’s the 1950s silhouettes that flatter fuller-busted bodies. Maybe it’s the glamour of Old Hollywood that reminds me of my grandmother. Maybe it’s Dior’s New Look — structure and elegance in a post-war world desperately searching for beauty again.
Growing up in dance, I was often made to be the punchline. Taller, bustier, curvier than the others, I was pushed into roles meant to make the audience laugh at me. But Dita? She was (and is) sexy in a way that is intentional, commanding, crafted, and lauded — sensuality with production value, grace wrapped in sparkles, and just a touch of wholesome theatricality.
She made me see that women could be more than a joke. We are art. But until the last 5 or 6 years- I didn’t always believe that all bodies were art. There was some deep social conditioning to understand and celebrate different bodies, but another thing for my ballet-socialized brain to really, truly believe that. The fatphobia was soooo deeply embedded into my brain and psyche.
The Artists Who Gave Me Permission Long Before TBF
There are TORONTO performers who shifted my understanding of myself long before this festival, and they deserve to be honoured. They don’t know it, (well, now you do!) but they all helped me shift my perspective and find more compassion and kindness in my body. I have all the empathy in the world for others, but MY body? OH NO - I have been my biggest enemy. Theory and practice are so fickle.
Belles Jumbelles (Newly Crown TBF Trailblazer)
The first time I saw her perform, something cracked open in me. Seeing generous bodies be sexy as hell gave me a permission I didn’t know I was starving for. I loved her from the very first moment and have not stopped talking about her since.
James and the Giant Pasty
Proof that anyone can do burlesque, but that “smart, well-executed, and adorkable” is a brand that’s real and resonant. His Frog Prince act had me howling and made me fall in love with the Toronto burlesque scene and then seeing him create within the confines of covid- in his apartment with a fridge? The most hilarious and wonderful! A reminder that brilliance and silliness belong together more often than we admit.
Força
A force of nature who showed me that academia can tolerate sparkles! After 15 years in academic spaces, where intellect is often expected to be sterile, seeing someone demand respect while covered in glitter was revolutionary. Deep intelligence, movement, sensuality, and glamour can coexist — beautifully.
These artists created the conditions for my healing long before I understood what was happening.
The Heart of TBF:
Empathy, Artistry, and Community Care
And I have to give a special thank-you to Ivory — for bringing me into this world with so much fierceness, love, and devotion. Creating that mirror ball cast for you was an honour, and watching how you uplift others is nothing short of revolutionary. If we want the world to be better? Put a burlesque crew in charge. If you can hand-glue 10,000 rhinestones onto a garment, or organize this many folks who also need space for their costumes and props that could require 2 cars worth of space in the venue?… You have the patience and discipline to solve global crises.
Ivory also introduced me to Andrea from Be Appealing, a multi-time breast cancer survivor doing profoundly needed work in the massive gap of post-mastectomy aftercare. People are so often told that surgery is the final step, when in reality it’s only the beginning: renegotiating identity, sensuality, embodiment, trust, partnership, and self-recognition. Seeing someone else straddle the caring and empathy of working in and with the breast cancer community AND helping them express healthy human sensuality on their healing journey? It’s deeply gratifying to know that I can stand firmly in each space and make a difference for folx in all areas of transition and healing their bodies, hearts and minds.
Healing from that requires bravery most people will never understand — and Andrea is creating spaces where that bravery can be held without shame. I am incredibly excited to learn from her.
A Final Thank You
I never expected a burlesque festival — glittery, campy, queer, political, gorgeous, silly, and emotionally intelligent — to be one of the most healing experiences of my adult life.
But here we are.
Glittered. Grounded. Changed.
To the entire TBF community:
Thank you for your magic. Your empathy. Your humour. Your radical inclusivity. Your craftspersonship. Your beauty. Your politics. Your hearts.
You showed me what it feels like to exist without apology.
To be everything at once.
To be held by a community who understands the power of vulnerability, spectacle, and collective care. You’re doing sacred work — whether you know it or not.
With love, gratitude, and rhinestone-level devotion,
Mimi